Tag: expectations

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Living The Life I Built

This past weekend I did one of the things that I truly love, and that was rent an Airbnb out of town and do some writing. It was so refreshing because it has been a minute since I did an Airbnb for the sole purpose of simply relaxing. Of course I went out to eat with a friend at my favorite restaurant in the area, and I went to my favorite thrift store, where I only purchased blouses for work and shorts for the Summer. When you no longer have the upkeep of a home (because you are house sharing), then you don’t really need to buy anything. In all honesty, I rarely needed to buy anything when I did run a complete household, but for some reason I was convinced that more is more. Oh what a relief to learn that less is more!

Nowadays I spend my time hanging out with family and friends, working part time, and traveling, which is what I prayed for. Recently I decided to have guests over for various gatherings, especially since the weather has finally kicked up a notch. Unfortunately my first gathering got canceled because my body decided not to cooperate, and I wasn’t able to clean or cook for several days leading up to the event. However, we will reschedule in a few months because next month is already booked with Mother’s Day and Memorial weekend.

All and all life is still good and I’m still pinching myself because I’m so tickled with my decision to become a minimalist over a year ago. Not only has this decision afforded me the opportunity to do many of the things that I only dreamed of, it is less stressful with the current economy, and it has also allowed me to be a blessing to others. I hope I am making God proud in all that I do with these last years that I have left. Obviously He’s not done with me yet, and I’m so glad, because I still have a few more amazing goals that I want to reach.

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Be Your Own Rescue

There are a number of agencies and organizations in the world designed strictly to assist people who are less fortunate than others.  No matter how many systems you put in place to screen applicants there will always be someone who will take advantage of the programs.  I recall many years ago when a friend of mine said she was going to put her children names on the “Angel Tree,” a system designed to allow people with more to purchase and drop-off toys and clothes for those less fortunate.  I knew that my friend could afford to shop for her children’s Christmas presents, so I asked her why would she do that.  Her response was, so her kids would get more gifts.

I’m the kind of person who always feels guilty about accepting handouts even if I need them.  I remember when I was on public assistance with my first child, I kept telling my mother that I wanted to find a job because I hated having to depend on that tiny little check and food stamps.  Even today I have to be at my wits end before I go to anyone for assistance.  On the few occasions in my adult life when I lost a job or my financial situation took a turn, I was able to snap back to reality without the world knowing the magnitude of my situation.  I’ve been to food banks but never to clothes closets, and I still visit the food pantry at my church on occasion, because there is always more food than the congregation can take.  It does help when you can pick up a few veggies or occasional meat before you do your grocery list.

Unfortunately there are many in this world who always have their hands out and no matter what you do it never seems to be enough.  I firmly believe that after a certain age in life it is mandatory that you be your own rescue.  I don’t mean that you should never borrow money or a cup of  sugar, but how many times are you going to start over and keep asking people to hold you up while you get back on your feet?

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Who’s Pushing Your Swing?

Who’s pushing your swing? The other day during my bible study this title came to mind. As I was reading my devotional materials I came across something that made me see myself as a little girl on a swing.  In this  video of the mind I saw me trying to swing higher and higher by pushing off with my feet.  What I realized was I could only go so high and the height lasted for a very short period of time.  It took quite a bit of energy using my feet to propel myself.  I thought about giving up because the height that I reached did not merit the amount of energy that it took to get there.  There are situations in life where we spend too much energy trying to create stuff, when all we have to do is ask someone else to push us.  When someone else pushes us it not only relieves the need to be in control while using our own energy, it also allows us to reach higher heights.  In doing that, the thrill of the ride is more enjoyable and it seems as though you remain at the height a lot longer.

Who’s pushing your swing? Are you reaching the heights that you deserve or are you still operating in your own power to push?  Have you considered having God push your swing?  The heights that He is willing to take you, and the destiny that He has for you is unimaginable. We will have pain along the way, but misery is optional.  We can decide how we will react to the pain that inevitably comes to us all.  Will you spend your time blaming the world as you shuffle your feet at the playground and watch everyone else swinging high?  Or will you tell pride to take a seat the next time life takes you outside of your comfort zone?  When you find yourself swinging without a partner, why not ask someone else to push your swing?

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Making Decisions Based on Wrong Problem

Don’t make decisions based on the wrong problem.  Most of us have heard the saying, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” There are so many ways to look at that statement.  At times we are so quick to try to resolve a problem before we have weighed all the options on the table.  When you panic you cause your brain to stop processing information in a logical way.  Your focus becomes the end result rather than looking at things from the perspective of the “why.”  We all want things to go as planned and we hate when that doesn’t happen.  But let’s be clear, all things happen for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  So, the next time your world gets turned upside down know that this did not take God by surprise.  He saw it coming way before you experienced it.  And the greatest part of the story is, He knows the intended outcome.  Relax and watch the situation work in your favor.

Although you may be the best planner and organizer, that does not mean that the universe will always be in alignment with you.  We live in a world of humans, therefore our plans may sometimes be contingent upon others.  Many things are beyond our control but God is the ultimate conductor of MY orchestra, and the final song always belongs to Him.  I’m a small instrument that allows myself to be used in His song.  Together we make perfect music!

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Disappointment is Caused by Unmet Expectations

Tom Pumford @tompumford

Disappointment is caused by unmet expectations.  It is normal to expect things in life. If you sit in a chair, you expect that chair to hold you.  If you work all week then you expect a paycheck on Friday, or whatever day your payday falls.  There is nothing wrong with having expectations.  When you create a vision board don’t you expect those visions to become reality?  Why else would you do the board?  Why waste your time and energy on something that you don’t expect to happen?  A disappointment starts when there is an appointment.  There are four elements to an appointment:  1)people, 2)place, 3) purpose, and 4)time.  So all of these elements play a vital part in why and how we become disappointed.  First, people will let you down.  Second, this may not be the right place for what you anticipate to happen.  Third, you may have the wrong motives for this particular endeavor.  And lastly, it just might not be the right time!  So think about these elements as you put your plans into motion.

The other side of the coin is when we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and on others. This automatically sets us up for disappointment.  Unrealistic can mean that, there is no way that it can be done, or it could mean, that based on previous experiences you know that it’s NOT going to happen.  Not to say that people and circumstances can’t surprise you, however, then it becomes a pleasant response to your expectations rather than a disappointment.  You cannot be disappointed about something that you didn’t expect to happen.  That’s just common sense.