Category: Blog

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Brave Enough to Break Your Own Heart

 @simmonmigaj

How many times has your heart been broken? Not just by the opposite sex.  What about having your heart broken by your children, your boss, or by your dreams?  When it comes to reaching for the moon we tend to hesitate, because we think that if we don’t make it we have failed.  There are so many things that I have done or started to do that broke my heart.  But I learned so much about who I am and what I am capable of getting done under pressure.  Just because you fail at something does not mean that you are a failure.  Failure teaches you what not to do and/or what needs to be done differently.  Most of the time failure prepares the way for a smoother ride going forward. We allow others to break our hearts and we continue to survive, so why are we so afraid to be brave enough to break our own hearts?

When I did my book tour this year I was so psyched it was unbelievable. However, when I ended up visiting two states instead of four, I never considered it a failure.  The knowledge, the exposure, and the momentum that I gained simply by having my name out there was indescribable.  Now doors are opening for future collaborations in the year 2018.  Remember, everything you go through is preparing you for now or later.  No time is wasted if you look at life from a learning perspective and realize that things happen at the right time.  In addition, I have people who have watched me grow over the years and are now asking me to speak.  If you put in the work eventually you will reap the benefits.  Patience and persistence will always create results.

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Disappointment is Caused by Unmet Expectations

Tom Pumford @tompumford

Disappointment is caused by unmet expectations.  It is normal to expect things in life. If you sit in a chair, you expect that chair to hold you.  If you work all week then you expect a paycheck on Friday, or whatever day your payday falls.  There is nothing wrong with having expectations.  When you create a vision board don’t you expect those visions to become reality?  Why else would you do the board?  Why waste your time and energy on something that you don’t expect to happen?  A disappointment starts when there is an appointment.  There are four elements to an appointment:  1)people, 2)place, 3) purpose, and 4)time.  So all of these elements play a vital part in why and how we become disappointed.  First, people will let you down.  Second, this may not be the right place for what you anticipate to happen.  Third, you may have the wrong motives for this particular endeavor.  And lastly, it just might not be the right time!  So think about these elements as you put your plans into motion.

The other side of the coin is when we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and on others. This automatically sets us up for disappointment.  Unrealistic can mean that, there is no way that it can be done, or it could mean, that based on previous experiences you know that it’s NOT going to happen.  Not to say that people and circumstances can’t surprise you, however, then it becomes a pleasant response to your expectations rather than a disappointment.  You cannot be disappointed about something that you didn’t expect to happen.  That’s just common sense.

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Uber Dating

santiago-gomez-413715Santiago Gomez @iamsantiago

Uber dating! Now that I have your attention, let me ask you a question: Have you heard about people using Uber to get to the ER rather than using an ambulance?  I was shocked when I heard that.  Who would risk their lives in the hands of an Uber driver when it comes to your health?  It was stated on the news that riders said, Uber is cheaper so they are willing to take the risk for illnesses that are not life threatening.  I thought emergency rooms were for life-threatening illnesses!

Back to my story about Uber Dating! I didn’t literally get a “real” date through Uber.  But for two hours on a recent Friday night while driving for Uber, I pushed aside all my financial concerns as I sat in an Improv Comedy Show downtown thanks to one of my Uber riders.  I picked up this couple and her brother who were going to Theatre 99.  As I was sharing my conversations about who I am and why I do Uber, I also talked about some of the blessings that I have received as a driver.  During our conversation I mentioned that I had always wanted to go to Theatre 99, but for one reason or another had never gotten around to doing that.  Low and behold, the brother who was sitting in the front with me turned and said, “I have an extra ticket for tonight if you want to park your car and go.  I’ll give it to you for free and you don’t even have to sit with us if you don’t want to.”  So, for once in my life I decided to do something impulsive and stop the world so I could get off.  The gentleman gave me his phone number and told me to call him after I find a park and he would meet me at the door.  In less than ten minutes I was parked and seated inside the theatre with three people who did not know me from Adam.  I had the most fun that I have had in a long time.  We all talked and laughed as though we had planned to be together.  Because of that gentleman’s generosity I will start to enjoy life more and will definitely go back to that theatre: I plan to schedule a date with myself for my birthday next month.  Bottom line, it pays to be authentically yourself!

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Burning Bridges You Haven’t Crossed

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Don’t burn bridges that you haven’t crossed. We get so caught up in deciding who means what to us, that we sometimes miss an opportunity to receive from those we don’t know is watching. We want to rub elbows with people in the higher echelons thinking they have more to offer us, when what you need may be in the hands of the small guy standing right next to you.  Everyone passes judgment whether they want to admit it or not.  How many times have you said to yourself, or someone else, “that person probably won’t even consider me as an option to do business with,”  or “what do I have to offer them?”  We never know where our next big idea will come from.  The person you think is too big or too small to consider your product or service may be the one who challenges your growth.  We network with a purpose, which is not always to build relationships.  We size people up based on who their friends are.  If someone does the same thing as we do, then we hesitate to spend time with them.  There is enough space, time and money on this planet for all of us.  No one can do YOU like you do YOU!

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Who’s Pushing Your Swing?

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Photo Credit: @Yoori_koo

Who’s pushing your swing?  There are swings that are so low to the ground that you can push yourself with your feet, or you can have someone else push you.  Then there are the ones that are much higher off the ground, and you need a push from someone else.  We are very comfortable when people we know are pushing our swing.  It’s a different story when a stranger comes up and offer to push.  We tend to be a little hesitant, and that’s understandable.  It always seems like more fun to have someone else push, so that you don’t have to do the legwork.  Some things are only learned by doing them yourself.  Remember, there are some people who will push you so high that they hope you fall out.  Then there are the ones who will push you ever so gently because they want you to enjoy the ride.  I have friends like that who know that I am capable of going higher once I get pass my fears.  Others show up just as your swing starts to slow down.  Some are there to give you a small nudge, and some show up to discourage you and make you believe that the swing is broken.  Everyone on the playground is not playing fair.  Be careful who you let push your swing!

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Don’t Park in Your Place of Pain

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Why is it that the motto for news is, “If it bleeds, then it leads?” Have you ever wondered why there are so many sad stories in the news?  Are we conditioned to focus only on what gets the adrenaline flowing?  Unfortunately, we all created this desire for drama and now we wish we could turn it off.  I’m guilty as well.  It seems that a painful story sticks with you longer than a story about what’s good in the world.

As human beings we also tend to remember our own painful stories and we continue to share them every chance we get. I challenge you today, “Don’t park at your place of pain!”  Get out of that parking space.  Allow someone else to use it.  Take the handicap sticker out of your window.  Step outside the blue lines!  You have to reach for your blessings.  Neutral won’t move your car forward.  You gotta put your car in drive.

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The To-go Plate

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Stop trying to feed those who only showed up for the “to-go” plate. There are people in our lives who only come around when we have something to give away.  They don’t want to stay and be a part of your ongoing life or serve any real purpose when it comes to your well-being.  They are not trying to sit down at your table and share in conversation about your vision, goals, dreams or basic ups and downs of life.  They pop in when things are going well to grab a bite of your joy and your success.  They hang onto your every word as long as it benefits them.  You are praised when the going is good, but ignored when things get rocky.  You will always see them at the most important meetings of the mind, but never see them when you’re down and out.  Do they miss you when you are absent for awhile?  Do they call you if there has been no contact in a few weeks or months?  Do they ask others about you when they haven’t heard from you?  If they don’t, then you need to stop trying to feed those who showed up for a “to-go” plate!