Category: Blog

Every journey starts with the first step. No matter how much we try there is no way to get to the top without taking the first step and doing the necessary work required to take the second and third step.  How many times have you seen a friend or foe succeed in an area where you feel you are qualified, and you wonder how they got there so fast?  You start questioning your methods and motives.  You ask yourself what can I do differently to speed up the process.  Well, to be honest, there is nothing that you can do differently because the teacher will not show up until the student is ready.

If you have a Facebook account then you probably noticed over the years and heard people talking about how they keep changing their algorithms. Basically what they are referring to is a set of calculations Facebook uses to decide what content you see.  It all boils down to showing you posts that they think you will interact with through likes, comments, and shares, based on your previous actions on similar posts.  This was also done to cut down on posts that were negative or geared to a particular set of beliefs, which inflamed people’s sensibilities.  Unfortunately, life has no algorithms. What you see every day is going to hit your feed in the order that it happens.  There are no shortcuts or ways to adjust life to have what you want show up.  It would be nice if we could change the feed based on likes, comments, or shared experiences.  With an ever changing world it’s impossible to count on similar circumstances turning out the same as last time.  Even those people who share similar challenges with you don’t always act in the manner that you anticipate.  We are all fighting our individual battles although it’s hidden most of the time.  You get to choose what you post on Facebook, but not what shows up in real life.  Real life happens whether someone is scrolling or not, because life has no algorithms!

Destination is important but so is the ride.  Many of us go on vacation and never stop along the way to sightsee or take in the scenery.  Maybe that little country store has just what you need to spark a memory from childhood,  or the perfect gift for a loved one back home.  Perhaps the restaurant with the strange name has  home cooked meals the way grandma used to make them.  We have to realize that the journey is just as important as getting there.  Sometimes we get so concerned with getting to a certain point that we miss the journey.

It took me five years to get on television here in Charleston, South Carolina, but I enjoyed every step of the way.  There were so many times when I turned on the TV or saw others posting their shows on Facebook and wondered how did they get there.  What type of contact or inside scoop did they have?  I continued to praise them while staying in my zone and doing the work that God assigned to me.  I have always known that preparation comes before possibility and my time would come.  The joy of the journey is what makes the destination so sweet.  The fact that you worked hard to earn that vacation, to get to the top, to speak to that audience that you have wanted to reach.  All of those things are in God’s timing and not ours, so continue to be patient and wait your turn.

Life is like a journey.  It ‘s good to plan and strategize about where you want to go, but we must also leave room for sightseeing.  We must allow God to intervene when His plan is better than ours, and it always is.  Don’t be so rushed to get to your final destination that you miss the journey.  Remember, once time is lost we never get it back.

 

 

With God nothing is wasted. As we walk this journey here on earth it may sometimes seem like God is supplying us through a trickle-down effect, a drip, or an overflow. Although we would like to see the fruits of our labor sooner than later, there will be times when you think that your efforts are wasted. When it comes to the Kingdom of God remember that nothing is wasted. You may have put in the work over and over and nothing has shown up to validate your labor. Just because you don’t see it does not mean that it’s not happening. The teacher is silent while the test is being given. One day you will wake up and realize that something you prepared yourself for is now showing up at your doorstep. At the time when you put in the work you thought you were creating a different scenario for your life, but God took what you did and showed you a new way to use your talents and abilities.

Think about a water facet or an outside spicket for your water hose, that continually drips over a long period of time. I’ve had that happen with both of these. You may not feel that a tiny drip is making a different, but when you get your water bill that’s another story. In addition, that little drip from the outside water spicket could also be affecting the inside of the home in ways that you can’t see. Now let’s apply that same scenario to our daily lives. The good deed that you do today or the smile that you share with someone can go a long way. What seemed like a small effort on your part when you got up early to attend an event, or stayed late to accomplish a goal may take years before you see the results. As I grasp new ideas and create new adventures for myself in business and pleasure, every day I feel like I am opening up a new gift from God! So remember, with God nothing is wasted!

Sometimes you need to hear the silence.  We’ve all heard the statement, ‘silence is golden’ but how many of us truly seek out silence in our day to day life?  It can be hard to shut the brain down and listen to your own breathing.  There have been times where I would meditate until I no longer had a thought, and occasionally I nodded off.  And then there are other times when the silence speaks to me louder than the noises of the world.  Those are the times when I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’ve tapped into the voice of God.

We live in a world where we are encouraged to always be DOING.  God gave each of us twenty-four hours to use at our discretion, however He also threw in the night time as a time of rest.  Although the universe does not operate on a time clock, God gave time to man because He knew we needed organization and structure.  Don’t wait until it’s bedtime to create silence for your life.  Learn to put your body and your brain on mute as a way of reinvigorating your organs and your ability to be a gift to the world.  As I strive to be a better version of myself daily, I am constantly taking stock of how I live my life, whether it’s mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually or financially.  All these areas play a major part in the way I show up to the world.  I intend to be a good steward of all that God has entrusted to my care.  On the outside it may seem sometimes that my life is about fame and fortune, but deep down it’s all about changing the world one person at a time.  It is our job to use what God gave us to show gratitude for being on this earth as we honor Him.  For many of us that means, sometimes you need to hear the silence!

 

God is not trying to trip you up!  There may be stones in your path. Stones that trip and stones that trap.  Stones too big for you.  But, remember the goal of these stones is not to trip you up but to have you look forward with faith.  Some of your best accomplishments in life may come from your worst failures.  One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!  There are people in this world who would gladly trade places with you in a heartbeat.  Be careful how you murmur and complain about the things that show up to challenge and strengthen you.

This year for me has created the biggest growth spurt that I’ve ever had personally, financially, and spiritually based solely on the stones that I felt was put in front of me to trip me up. Because I decided to draw closer to God and surrender control, He showed me a person inside that I didn’t know existed.  I was like most people who love the Lord.  I thought my time and effort spent in praying, meditating, and studying was enough.  I was able to discern God’s voice and move about my life with confidence and structure.  But what I didn’t know was, deep down inside was a woman who was afraid to truly allow her spiritual side to be seen by too many folk.  In my writing and my speaking I chose my words carefully in order to not sound so “religious.”  When giving advice and ministering to others, most of the time I would preface my words with, “I’m not a religious person, but I’m spiritual.”  I used to think that statement would draw people in more quickly and excuse me from accountability to God for what I said or did.  Over this past year I’ve come to realize that authenticity is the key to good communication, whether it’s religious, spiritual, or neither.  I can honestly say that my financial, spiritual, and social growth this year has been because I stopped playing small and decided to give God all the credit for my life no matter what setting I found myself.  I didn’t just reserve God for Sunday; I carried Him with me wherever I went all week long.  I encourage you in this season of life, when we need God more than ever, to please consider the possibility that God is not trying to trip you up! Your stones are there to remind you to look down sometimes at the ones less fortunate than you.  It’s so easy to blindly walk through our lives with our heads in the air because all is well.  Take your stones today and build a fort of love that shows the world the real you and not your representative.

 

Your crisis will up level you!  So many of us don’t want the pain of the push but we want the baby! You cannot have one without the other.  The crisis you face today is the culmination of the curriculum that you needed to get through the course.  If you had quit in first grade then you would have never graduated from school.  If you had not pushed through the pain of birth, then you wouldn’t have seen the magic of your child being born.  It’s time to up level in all areas of your life.  Stop playing small so others will understand and accept you for the person they know.  I always say if you knew me yesterday but haven’t talked to me in weeks, then you don’t know who I am.  I am ever changing and I refuse to apologize for that.  God has me on a course of development and preparation for the many doors that are about to swing open.  As I prepare to step inside there will be things that cannot remain the same in my life, and that should be true with you as well.   There are many people who came with you that cannot go where God is taking you.  Don’t feel guilty about that.  There is a time and season for everything under the sun.  It’s your time now!  Every day I ask God for a closer walk with Him, a deeper understanding of my purpose and the ability to walk confidently in it.  I also ask for a word for me and a word for the world, and I close by asking for a quicker discernment of His voice and the quickness to respond to it.  So when I get the answers each day to those requests I may not look like who you think I am.  And that’s alright!

Why do you do what you do?  As I sat in my prayer closet the other day looking around at my quotes, affirmations, scriptures and photos, it dawned on me that none of those things represent my ‘why.’ Do you truly know your ‘why’?  Some call it their passion or their purpose.  Others say it’s their reason for being here on earth.  And some even consider it their reason for waking up in the morning.  Sitting in that closet on that particular day, I realized that being diagnosed with breast cancer in 1985 is my ‘why’.

When I share my life stories of triumph over the past thirty-three years, it is because I took what could have been a sad day and turned it into a miraculous moment of self-discovery and purpose. Yes, I am passionate about what I do as a motivational speaker and author, but it’s not my ‘why.’  Although I look forward to waking up every day and doing what I love, (Geri Speak), it is not my ‘why’ or my reason for being on this earth.  All of those things came as a result of breast cancer and they continue to be an offshoot that allows me to be the best version of myself.  God has gifted me as a writer and speaker in a way that nobody else does it.  I am not  better than any other speaker or writer, it simply means that I am the best at being Geri.  My life story cannot be told by anyone else and neither can yours!  So when you think about your ‘why’, make sure that you dig deeper than your family, your job, your passion, or your purpose.  Most likely you will find your ‘why’ in one of the scariest moments of your life.  There is no timeframe for when that will happen.  You may be age two or thirty-two.  Some never discover their ‘why’ at all.  It took me thirty years and I’m glad to be living the rest of life as my best life! Remember your ‘why’!

Life presents all kind of opportunities to us on a daily basis. Some are way outside our normal thought processes and others fit right into where we are trying to go.  And then there are the opportunities that show up and challenge us to see what someone else sees in us.  I’m not talking about fame and fortune.  We all touch the lives of others every day.  It could be your kind words while driving or riding with Uber.  What about the car that you let slide in front of you during the traffic jam?  Do you know what type of day that person may be having?  Your kind gesture could have saved a child or a spouse from getting the beat down. There are so many small ways that we can make a difference in the life of others without even knowing.

I am amazed at the compliments and the encouragement that I receive from people who are moved by my actions whether personal or business related. Although I feel that I am operating in my purpose, it is always good to know that something I said or did affected someone in a positive way.  On those days where I need a little strength to keep pressing forward, I think back on the memories and stories of those who have taken a risk or overcame a struggle because they read one of my books, or articles, or they heard me speak.  We all need encouragement on this journey called life.  There are numerous quotes that speak to that: “No man is an island,” “It takes a village to raise a child,” “Each one teach one,” “The team makes the dream work.”  As human beings we were made to need each other, and that is not a weakness. There is always a bigger purpose!

 

When the back burner becomes the front burner!  During my childhood we had a wooden stove with several “eyes” that you could open.  With this new generation most people probably don’t know what I’m talking about.  Well let me try to describe.  First of all, the stove had a side door where you put the wood and poured the kerosene to get the fire going, and then you closed the door.  The top of the stove had two or three openings that were cut out in a way that the cut piece was fitted securely when put in place.  These cutouts were called the “eyes”, which is similar to what we call burners today, and were used as a guide for sitting your cooking pots.  Also, you could open the eyes and stoke the fire if it died down.  For some reason the fire always burned hotter near the front, therefore if something was cooking too fast my mom would put it on the back burner to cook a little slower or to stay warm.  I firmly believe that this is where the statement, “on the back burner” originated from.

How many times have you used that statement to describe the action that you are taking because you do not wish to deal with something right now?  Maybe the conversation is not your cup of tea, so you set it aside with hopes of it cooling down or being forgotten all together.  When we want to put things off until tomorrow, we almost intuitively say, “I’ll put that on the back burner.”  Well what happens when the back burner becomes the front burner?  When you have pushed things away so many times that they start to recycle themselves.  What happens then?  You deal with it, because what used to be a low priority has suddenly rose to the top.  I’ve learned that when you have a list of accomplishments to meet, it is better to do the hardest or least exciting thing first, because doing that will create an adrenaline rush to power you for the next task.  It’s like getting it off your chest, or meeting the deadline, or saving the day.  It gives you energy for the journey!

I’d rather be having sex! Do I have your attention?  Why is the subject of sex so taboo when it comes to having a great conversation?  What is it that makes us cringe when the topic comes up, especially in a mix group with males and females?  I’m not saying that you should give all your personal details about what happens in your bed, but I do think that adults should be able to have an intelligent conversation about sex without being embarrassed.

Recently I wrote my fourth book, Sexy, Celibate, and Sane – Keeping Your Legs Closed in a Sex-Crazed World. For this book I decided to depart from my usual style of writing and delve into a subject that so many avoid, SEX.  I wrote this book for those of us out there who have felt that something is wrong if you are celibate, whether by choice or default.  Society has a tendency to place a lot of emphasis on sex through their commercials, their music, and their advertisements, but few mention the choice of abstinence, except the church.  For those who say that I am being a hypocrite by promoting the book this way, I want you to know that this book is not based on religion.  And trust me, almost everyone you see in church that’s old enough to have sex is doing so, whether they are married or not.

I always like to make my stories light-hearted with a bit of humor whether in print or in person.  I chose this title because it’s catchy, and there are many days and many circumstances where I would rather be having sex.  When I think of all the rainy days we’ve had here in South Carolina, I’d rather be having sex. As I close my eyes at night in my bed alone, I’d rather be having sex.  When I wake up in the morning and the pillow is the only thing next to me.  When my car brakes down, my tooth need pulling, or my eye glasses break, I’d rather be having sex.  If you want some good humor with lust, love or the lack thereof, be sure to click on the “shop” button and grab your copy of, Sexy, Celibate and Sane- Keeping Your Legs Closed in a Sex-Crazed World.