Author: admin

We all have things in life that we want to achieve.  I’ve heard that luck is when preparation meets opportunity.  Never believed in luck, so I constantly work on being prepared for whatever life sends my way.  None of us can determine the outcome of all our decisions, but we can strive to stay one step ahead of the game.  I always believed in being in the right place at the right time, especially when it comes to living my dreams.

As far back as I can remember, I loved being on stage.  Maybe it was a play at school, singing in the choir, or a talent show.  There was something about having people sit there and watch what you are doing.  It was not so much about the fame as it was the desire to feel important.  Coming from a dysfunctional family, there was not much at home to inspire me.  My teachers always saw more in me than I saw in myself.  That played a pivotal role in me becoming the inspirational speaker and author that I am today.  As I embark upon a new venture I am thankful that I never gave up on my dream.  It is exciting and scary to finally be putting things in place that I saw myself doing twenty-five years ago.  Do I have all my “Is” dotted and all my “Ts” crossed?  Of course not!  It’s a day by day process of lining up people and ideas to bring the vision into fruition.  What I do know is this; I have enough wisdom, courage, and faith to start the conversation.  We all have dreams, but not all of us are willing to put in the effort and do the waiting.  We live in a microwave society.  If it doesn’t happen right now, we stop believing and working on our dreams. You always have to prepare for the prize!

 

I have heard that people buy from those they know, trust, and have a relationship with.  Never really gave it much thought until I became an author.  I was always good at selling myself and my story through motivational speaking.  However, once I became an author I had to approach sales much differently.

Recently I mentioned to a new friend that I had an upcoming speaking engagement and would be selling my books as well.  Her reply was, “Wow! You are a writer!  I am an avid reader.  I love this, and I can’t wait to read your books.  This is exciting.”  She also said she has another engagement on that date, but would try to stop by to catch whatever part of my talk that she could, because she wanted to get the books.  We talked a little further about how my speaking and writing is NOT the first topic of conversation when I meet people, because I am not trying to sell them something.  I am simply making friends, and should the conversation lead to my speaking and writing, so be it.

A quick back story:  This young lady is someone I met at a crowded restaurant while waiting to be seated.  When I got my buzzer and walked around the bar area to browse while waiting on my table, she spoke to me and we struck up a conversation about the restaurant.  She had been there before, and it was my first time.  We talked about how crowded it was and how it would be nice if those who have space at their table, would offer to share a meal together rather than keep people waiting so long.  She indicated that she was waiting on another girlfriend, and I told her that I was alone.  We chatted some more, and eventually she asked why don’t we share a table, and said she knows her friend would not have a problem with that either.  Needless to say, dinner went very well, and I now have two new friends because we were willing to eat with strangers.  Networking is so much more than passing out business cards.  You won’t sell nothing until you sell who you are!

As a person who lives alone it can be quite lonely sometimes having no one to talk to.  However after numerous years you learn to enjoy and appreciate the silence and independence.  Then there are the days when you wish you had someone to share your thoughts and anxieties with.  Although you know that God always listen, you still wonder sometimes where He is.  Especially when your world is falling apart and it takes every ounce of energy that you have to keep smiling.  There is no one outside your doors who will understand, because they don’t know the whole story.  If you had a significant other, or even a roommate, they would have been along for some of the journey, and you wouldn’t have to catch them up on the sequence of events that led to your latest fiasco.

When you look around and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during the test.  While you stumble around in the dark trying to find your way, God is silent because He knows that you have the answers in your head.  Your recall ability is at optimum function.  As long as you can silence the noise around you there will be a quickening of the spirit that will snap you back to your senses.  Before you know it you will be back on your feet stronger than ever before.  Think about the times where you had to take a test.  Did it bother you when others in the room were talking?  Did you find it hard to focus?  Did you use the process of elimination for several of the multiple choice questions?  Our tests in life are the same.  The teacher will be quiet.  There will be others around you who want to give the answers, rather than have you find the answers for yourself.  And then there is the process of elimination, where you know that choice number one just doesn’t make sense, and choice number two you have already used before, so naturally choice number three is the only logical answer.  Never give up on yourself, because you are the one who has to live with the decisions that you make.  Whatever you decide, make sure that it’s the best decision for YOUR life at that particular time.  If you fall down get back up and try again.  At least you will have learned a way that won’t work.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  The journey is just as important as the destination.  You can’t get there without it.  So, enjoy the journey!  God’s going to be with you no matter what you do.

 

 

I’m not sure whether I am overly curious or just nosey; probably a whole lot of both.  Lately I have noticed that people are so involved in their own little world that they rarely take the time to look up or even look you in the face.  It’s as though everyone has somewhere to go and they don’t want anybody to obstruct their agenda in the least bit.  Not even long enough to give you a smile or simply notice and acknowledge you as a human being.  Today at lunchtime I walked down a very popular street in the downtown area of my city.  I watched people talking on their phones, riding their bikes, walking alone and talking or texting, and some people actually talking to each other.  However, the majority of the people were in their own little world, oblivious of anyone else other than themselves.

As I was headed back to my destination, I noticed an elderly lady who was cursing someone out.  When I walked pass her I assumed that she was talking on her phone.  To my surprise there was no phone, or an ear piece to signify that she was having a conversation with someone.  After realizing that she was obviously in some type of confused state, I looked around to see if maybe someone was coming out of a store nearby to join her.  No one showed up.  We continued to walk in the same direction, while she continued to talk to this imaginary person.  Occasionally I would look back hoping someone would notice her and attempt to determine what was wrong.  Numerous people walked pass her, but no one noticed the lady with the black jacket that had “Jets” written on the back, carrying a pocketbook, and talking to herself extremely loud.  At one point she turned around and headed back in the opposite direction.  That’s when I decided to do something.  I asked someone on the street, “What is the non-emergency number for “911?”  They did not know, but tried to use “voice” on their phone to call the police, with no success.  They wanted to move on, and suggested that I go ahead and call 911 and let them know.  So I did.  I spent about ten minutes on the phone with 911, while following this lady until they got her description and location and promised to send someone out.  That was somebody’s mother, grandmother, or maybe wife.  I don’t know.  What I do know is, we need to be more observant of our surroundings and less focused on getting to the next stop.  That could have been me or your mother.

 

As human beings we hate to admit when we are wrong, or that we made a wrong choice.  Especially when we shared our good news with such excitement and got everyone else all hyped up.  Well, a mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.  When I say learn, I don’t necessarily mean that you would never do that again.  If you are the type of person who takes risks, then you will definitely do something similar the next time.  So what!  I’m talking about learning to move on in faith knowing that every thing happens for a reason, and most of the time things happen to move you to a place you would have never gone on your own.

When I gave up a full-time job with good benefits only to learn that the job I was getting is part-time, of course, I was devastated.  I even tried to go back to the prior employer, but chose not to go through the whole application/interview process again.  Instead I chose to return to my first love (senior care), which affords me the opportunity to have more control over my schedule, thereby allowing me the freedom to accept speaking engagements that I previously couldn’t even consider.  So what I thought was going to be a tremendous loss of income and a stress producer has turned out to be the best decision that I could have made.  I have always believed that life is an adventure not a worry, and if we want to pursue our dreams, then stumbling blocks must become our stepping-stones.  I’m happy!  I get to do what I love at work, and live my dream of becoming a full-time motivational speaker.

We all have our wish lists and we update them from time to time.  I have lived in Charleston, South Carolina for four years, and my list hasn’t gotten much smaller.  Matter of fact it keeps changing every time I hear about some new experience that someone else has enjoyed.  When I first arrived to Charleston, all I wanted to do was visit a few historical sites and eat at every restaurant possible.  Over time I have expanded my horizons to places beyond South Carolina.  Not that I have seen everything there is to see in Charleston, but I choose to enjoy life more in line with my vision, rather than simply check things off my “Bucket List.”

So many times we ask God for something and when it doesn’t arrive in the package that we expected, we feel like our prayers have not been answered.  I say that because recently I asked God to give me a 32-hour work week, which would allow me more time for writing and speaking.  With my monthly newspaper articles, my weekly blogs, promoting my books and speaking engagements, there never seems to be enough time to properly prepare, not to mention asking for time off from work.

While sitting here today providing care for the elderly, (as a 3-day live-in) I realized that I have exactly what I asked for and more.  Who wouldn’t want to work three days a week and earn what others get for five days?  Although I have no TV in my room, (I’m learning it’s highly overrated) I have my computer and I’m able to pen this post, in addition to working on my third book.  Most of all I have every weekend off.  Bring on the speaking engagements Lord!   Yes!  This is what I asked for!

 

 

People always say, “If Plan A fails, then go to Plan B.”  Nobody tells you what to do when Plan B fails also.  Do you continue creating plans until you run out of alphabets?  Of course not!  We all know that God decides the ultimate plan.  So why do we spend so much time trying to fix stuff, when some of our greatest successes came from things that didn’t make sense?  Probably because it is hard to acknowledge, that we control very little of our day-to-day circumstances.  To be honest, we control none of them.  Every thought we have and every decision we make comes from God, or whoever your higher being may be.  It is when you run out of options that you focus on the presence of God in your life.  He was there all the time; you just didn’t reach out to Him until things got out of hand. I know it’s easier said than done, but we could save ourselves a lot of stress if we followed God’s plan from the beginning.  I will be the first to tell you that I have gone through Plan A, B, C, and D many times.  So my words are only words of encouragement, not words of perfection.  It is a daily struggle to listen for God’s voice and know it when I hear it.  I question all my decisions before I make them, and most times after I have made them.  Sometimes I don’t get the answers until the situation has blown up in my face.  And other times I don’t get an answer at all.  In those cases I just try to find the good in whatever circumstance I find myself.  As an organized and in control person, I am learning to not expect outcomes that I can’t control.  I see every mishap as a chance to expand my outlook.  I remind myself that when Plan A doesn’t work out, then God has something bigger and better in store for me.  The hardest part is waiting on the manifestation.  I try not to give up, give out, or give in to the temptation to solve the problem my way.  I remember when God found me, and that helps me to see my disappointments as God’s appointment.  So, when you absolutely trust God there is no Plan B!

Have you ever paid close attention to young children when they first learn how to read a book?  As you try to read the story to them, with hopes that some day they will turn those pages and read to themselves, you notice that they are rushing to turn the pages to their favorite part of the story.  Now if it’s a pop-up book, then their little fingers are all over the place as they turn those pages.  The expression on their face says it all.  The joy they feel getting to the page that they were anxiously anticipating.  Why can’t we do the same thing in our lives?  Why do we feel that we have to read every page of life?  Sometimes it’s okay to just skim the surface for the main details of the story.  There are pages in our book that will pop-up as well.  So let’s learn how to move our fingers ever so anxiously, as we turn pages to our favorite part of life.  You decide how fast to read, which pages to linger on, and when to close the book.  Just turn the page!

 

As I flung myself across my bed last week and cried my eyes out, I had no idea that in less than 48 hours I would be giving thanks for the very same thing I was crying about.  God really does have jokes!  The problem is, we don’t always find them to be funny when they are coming at us left and right.  I spend a lot of time encouraging people to keep the faith, don’t panic, look for the message in the mess, etc.  You name it, I have said it in so many ways, but we all have a breaking point.  I literally cried until I could not breathe.  Why am I telling you this?  Because somebody out there needs to know that they are human.  They need to know that it’s okay to have emotions and not pretend to be tough all the time.  Even the motivator needs motivating.  The best dressed person in the room is going through something although they may not look like it.  We all cover up when we have to.  Only our closest confidants know what we really go through.  And that’s okay.  Everybody’s business is nobody’s business.  If you only knew!

There is nothing that can replace the high of having all your balls in the air at the same time, and none of them dropping.  It’s a juggler’s dream!  Well, life is not always like that.  No matter how much you think you have control of a situation, there are always unseen elements.  Your task is to hold onto the faith that brought you to that place, even though the earlier joy may not be as prevalent.  It is not possible, nor is it healthy, to remain on cloud nine for an extensive period of time.  The body was not built for that, because the ebbs and flow of life is what keeps us balanced internally.  Can you imagine what your heart would do if you continually bounced off the wall on a daily basis.  Not to mention the fact that you wouldn’t get much done, and the people around you would be taken aback.  I know, because the few times when I do find myself bouncing, I have been called crazy, and most recently, “turnt up.”  The slang definition of TURN UP is “Hyped, Excited, Wild.”  An expression used for people who are so full of life that they walk, talk, and ooze excitement for no apparent reason to others.  Since nobody knows why you are joyful, they automatically prejudge you before you get a chance to speak.  I know there is proper emotional protocol in most situations, but sometimes excitement just sneaks up on you.  And then there is the low!  Every high has a low.