(November)
Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. We know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As a breast cancer survivor, that is the busiest speaking time of the year for me. Well this year I had five speaking engagements in October, three of which included a vendor table with my books, plus a “Book Launch” in September. You talking about a tired sista! I was so worn out that I decided November will be my reflect and relax month. I’m not trying to make anything happen. If somebody calls me and ask me to speak, then I will jump for joy. Otherwise, I will be relaxing.
When I made the decision to take some time just for me, I realized that part of my tiredness came from my expectations of myself and others. It was not so much the speaking and writing as it was me stepping outside of my zone to create the perfect setting. Rather than focus on my gift, I spent an enormous amount of time trying to make sure that every one knew I was speaking and was planning on coming to see me. What I failed to remember is, my speaking is not a show. By the time I got ready for the last engagement, I realized that people have lives outside of what I am doing. I set myself up for disappointments and created my own stress, to the point where friends were calling me on the day of the event to find out the time and location. Obviously my event was not important enough for them to plan ahead and know the details of when and where. A valuable lesson learned again. Our expectations arise from our inability to experience things as they are. My speaking engagements were a huge success although some of my friends were not there. So, as I take November to reflect and relax, I will move forward knowing that the people who need to be in the room will be there. Everybody can’t go where you are going, so stop trying to take them with you.